Tuesday 10/27/15:
Drain Free Day! My mom and I woke up Tuesday morning and headed to Denver, with Lubby of course. The roads were mostly dry and we got to the Front Range a little early so we stopped at Red Rocks to do a very short hike.
We also picked out my new boobs...or two different options for boobs. With the help of a few women we decided on 425-450 cc for the goal implant size. It was what my doctor was planning to do and thinks she can still make work. But I told her I am completely fine with the 350 cc if it means not having to do tissue expanders.
It's interesting talking to a plastic surgeon that doesn't exercise. Her idea of beauty is probably different than mine. I'm sure we share similar perspectives about some things but I don't think she understood why I was so concerned about what this reconstruction will do to my future crossfit and active lifestyle. I asked the PA about the ability to do pushups and dips after I've recovered. She said that it's something I can do, but I might not like the way it makes my boobs look so I may decide to not do those movements anymore. I really hope that's not the case because I'll probably take the funny looking boobs over not being able to do those movements. We shall see.
On the drive home I-70 was a disaster. We hit a snowstorm and the roads were slick. I-70 eastbound was shut down at Eisenhower Tunnel and Vail Pass. It looked like a post-apocalypse world. There was probably a 4 mile section that was backed up. But not only was it a traffic jam, but every quarter of a mile you would see a few cars turned sideways, or off the road, or crashed into each other. All the while, other cars are around them still trying to move forward. I was very glad to be heading westbound at that time.
After a Costco run on our way home I drove to Rifle and met Debbie Creasey (my brother-in-law's mom) who lives in Grand Junction. She took my mom back to Grand Junction with her that night so that my mom could drive home on Wednesday with a rental car.
It was a long day as I didn't get home until about 9:30 PM that night.
Wednesday 10/28/15:
Back to work I go! I spent Wednesday working most of the day, although I took a little break in the afternoon just because I was a little sleepy. I felt like I could power through but then I got a littler nervous that I was pushing it too much so I took an hour break resting on the couch.
In the afternoon I went for a 90 minute hike with three of my girlfriends. And although I had planned to go to the gym that day I missed the open gym and told myself to just go home because I had book club that night.
Thursday 10/29/15:
First "workout"!! Man did it feel good to be back in the gym. After a full day of work I met Tony at the gym to get my first workout!
I started out by doing my PT exercises and some additional stretching. Then I did the following workout:
50 air squats
40 stepups
30 hollow rocks
20 lunges
10 bicycles
I went very slow, controlled, and easy. I was contemplating doing a second round but my right side was a little achy and I was trying to be smart by not pushing it too much so I stopped. I didn't care though, I was just happy to be in the gym and moving!
Friday 10/30/15:
Another big day at work, which I like to be busy! And then I stopped by the gym just to do my PT exercises.
Then Tony and I headed to Walmart to costume shop. Yes, it's the night before Halloween and we are finally getting costumes...hence why we dislike Halloween, we suck at costumes.
Saturday 10/31/15- Happy Halloween and Breast Cancer Research Foundation:
We headed to Sopris Crossfit at 8 AM and the festivities started right away! Sopris hosted an internal competition to raise money for the Breast Cancer Research Foundation. And it was so cool! We had over 40 competitors and it was so cool to see all the competitors throw down, especially those who have never competed before.
Leading up to the day, we had people donate money towards burpees. Every dollar equaled 1 burpee and could be given to the coach of their choice. Well, if you want to raise money, this is the way to do it! We raised over $4300 that day, and 3635 of it was through the burpees. The coaches were amazing! Lari had over 1000 to do. Mer did over 900. And the rest of them had hundreds of their own as well. And most of them competed in the comp too.
It was so cool to be apart of such a great day full of amazing people at the best gym ever.
Also as an update, Crossfit Fireside's fundraising efforts were amazing as well! I was so sad I could not have made it to their event but it was so great to hear about their turnout. They had over 100 people come from around the valley to their gym and 75 people participate in the workouts. They raised over $4600! And remember Marco, the 4 year old with the lemonade stand? He raised by himself over $600! Thank you Crossfit Fireside, you are amazing!
And thank you Catie Bristow for putting on such a great event, having such an amazing gym, and being such a cool person!
After Sopris Crossfit's event Tony and I sat on the couch for hours binge watching Entourage. I didn't workout at all Saturday but I was still feeling pretty tired. We eventually were able to put sexy Vinny Chase on hold while we hiked Mushroom Rock.
Sunday November 1, 2015:
It's finally November! And to celebrate we took a gorgeous drive on snow covered backroads with Tobie and Lee Powell to a moderate hike to an alpine lake. Although our trail was completely snow covered we made it to Anderson Lake and it felt great to be outside in the blue skies and cooler temps.
Due to the snow we weren't able to make it to the second lake, Petroleum, but it was still an adventurous day because the drive took so long.
After a pit stop at Whole Foods, yum! Tony and I headed home for a relaxing evening. I felt a little off most of the day. Just a light headache and overall just didn't feel great. Because surgery is only a few days out I am not allowed to take any Advil, which is usually the only thing that gets rid of my headaches so that was annoying. The way I felt wasn't that bad or big of a deal, but for some reason I mentally was just tired of the long road of not feeling great. So that night after we got into bed I couldn't help but have a pity party. I cried and complained to Tony about many different things, some of which was wanting our normal life back, some of which was being scared for what shape my body will be in after all this, range of motion, loss of strength, nerves growing back, etc. But ultimately it just came down to me being ready to have this behind me and ready to be back to my normal life. I feel fortunate that I've been able to live such a normal life considering the circumstances. But either way, I was ready to be back to 100%.
I would rather have semi-functional days than really bad days. But there are times that those semi-functional days are mentally harder. When you have a really bad day and just feel absolutely horrible, you aren't in your head so much, you're just trying to survive. But when you have a day that you feel 80% functional it is almost a mean tease. You feel so close to normal that you sometimes forget what's going on (which is nice) until you go to do something and discover you're restricted. That is how so much of the past week has been. Feeling like I can workout, and then having to hold myself back to not push it. Even my range of motion is interesting. In my mind I can imagine myself lifting my arms directly over my head. But when I go to do that I remember I'm extremely tight and need to lift my arms at a diagonal. I've always had really good shoulder mobility so it's an interesting insight into the people that can't lift their arms directly overhead.
Either way, I know in time I will be back to normal. And if it's not the normal Kelli, then it's Kelli version 2.0 and we will make it better than the first version!
Monday 11/2/15:
Okay, going to the gym helps so much. I spent the day working a full day, running a few errands and then I headed to the gym and finally got to workout again! It was still a pretty chill workout: 10 minutes on the bike and every minute I did 10 air squats. But I can't even describe how amazing it feels to move and workout. It was so refreshing mentally and physically! I still had a little bit of the headache all day Monday, which just put me in a slightly sour mood. But the second I started moving it went away and I was so happy again! I don't care that the workout was so easy, it was working out!
Tuesday 11/3/15:
I spent majority of the day working, which also included a really great conversation with my boss. We had a quick goal setting exercise that you analyzed your goals in four areas of your life: personal, professional, financial and relationships. I always love doing these types of exercises, it's exciting to plan for your future! The main points were figuring out your 1 and 5 year goals in each of these areas. And at the end he asked me what was the most important area that I wanted to focus on right now. Instantly I said all I can think about is my personal goal of getting back to the shape I was in around March of 2015. I was so strong both mentally and physically and it felt amazing.
I want to be able to get my ass handed to me in a crossfit workout. Just be utterly exhausted and not be concerned if that will affect my white blood cell count and chemo schedule. Or tear my body down too much that I set myself up for complications during surgery. Or wonder if the exercise I am doing is hurting or helping my range of motion and upper body.
 |
| I want to feel like this, after 15.5, completely exhausted but on such a high! |
I want to workout hard with my fellow crossfitters. I want to compete in the fun team competitions throughout Colorado. And most importantly, I want to be growing as an athlete. Learning new things, accomplishing new goals and PRs, achieving new movements.
I feel like from September 2014-March 2015 I was really putting in the time and energy to become the most fit Kelli ever. I had lots of hard workouts and huge accomplishments (achieving bar muscle ups, ring muscle ups, and even getting 281st in the Southwest region for females in the open). I just felt strong and it felt good.
So that is all I can focus on right now and I will have a fire under me to get back to that as quick as possible.
After work I met Tobie for a quick hike at Mushroom Rock and we had some happy pups. And then headed to the gym for a workout which was:
16 minute EMOM,
Minute 1: 20 hollow rocks
Minute 2: 20 lunges
Minute 3: 20 stepups
Minute 4: 40 sec on bike.
It felt great! And then I had a really long mobility session on my squat and of course my upper body PT exercises.
Physical Changes:
A quick update on my physical changes of my body. Besides the obvious and already discussed situation with my chest, I am continuing to bounce back from chemo.
I took my nail polish off my fingernails the other day and here is what I discovered:
It's like my healthy gauge. The bottom portion shows the healthy nail coming in and the upper portion is the remaining effects of Taxol.
I finally lost all my eyelashes, but I have a lot of little stubs of new ones growing back, but they sure do grow slowly. I still have a few eyebrows, and I really mean just a few. Below the few long lashes, that continue to fall out is a five o'clock shadow of the new ones about to grow in. This could be an interesting transition growing those back.
My hair is still a question mark. Some moments it looks gray, other times blond, and occasionally just dark. But that grows fairly quickly and soon I will be hitting those awkward stages.
My arms feel very weak and small to me. I know it's only been 2 and half weeks since surgery but they seem little. My legs don't feel as bad but they definitely don't feel strong. And overall my body just doesn't feel toned and strong, but I am thankful it's better than I originally thought it would be when I was initially diagnosed.
My last zoladex shot was on September 24th and I have yet to have my first period, so not sure if I am still in menopause. I still get hot flashes but they are not as bad and seem to be further and further apart. And although I didn't get much acne in my life, I have sprouted a few zits in the past couple of weeks, so I have a feeling I am making my way out of menopause. :)
I am pretty good at getting my exercises in for my mobility. Here's a picture of where I was at on 10/30/15 with raising my arms by sliding up a wall.
It is amazing how much the body recovers and heals in just one day. To think back to the few days after surgery to how I am now, wow. Time does heal the body. I still am pretty numb in my armpit area, and still very tight throughout the chest and sides. Besides for the headache the other day, I haven't taken any Tylenol in a while. I am so glad that the first surgery has gone as well as it has.
Wednesday 11/4/15:
I woke up and did a little work and then headed to 9 AM crossfit for a workout. This workout was:
14 minute AMRAP
12 ice skaters
9 back extensions
6 pistols (to a bench).
I got my heart rate elevated, I was out of breath and sweating, so I was happy! And every movement felt very safe and fine to be doing.
I finished up a full day of work, making sure all our transactions and listings were squared away and the team was ready to take over for the rest of the week. Then I met Tony in Glenwood and we made the journey to Denver. Thankfully, despite the winter storm warning, the roads weren't too bad.
In true Team KT fashion we've been watching crossfit for hours in our comfy hotel room. Tomorrow morning at 7:30 AM I will be back in the operating room waiting for my new boobs! It's rather strange to fall asleep with boobs you've had your whole life to waking up to a completely flat and semi-mangled chest. Now I will fall asleep with a flat chest and wake up to some boobs, and no one really knows right now what that size will be! It's like a box of chocolates, you never know what you're gonna get. Over and out for now.
