I am gettin so hot, I wanna take my clothes off.
I am sure that when you sang that little tune to yourself just now you might have conjured up images like this:
Like seriously. It's so hot. Summer is here in Colorado. And shit, between 95 degrees, no A/C in my house and hot flashes, I wanna take my clothes off. Okay perhaps, I'm being a little dramatic. :)
So cycle 3. For the most part better than 1 and 2. Woohoo! And now only one more to go, which is the best thing ever! Actually, not having any more AC treatments will probably be the best thing ever. Anyways, here's a recap of how the last two weeks went in the life of Team KT.
Wednesday June 10th, 2015:
Wednesday was infusion day and Becca, Tony's sister and mom, Gina accompanied me to the hospital. The interesting fact I found out that day was my weight changes.
- May 13th: Chemo infusion 1: I weighed 157#, which is actually light for me, I'm usually around 165.
- May 27th: Chemo infusion 2: I weighed 150. I lost 7 pounds in 14 days.I figured it was mostly the fact that muscle weighs so much and obviously I lost some muscles. But the nurse said it probably was mostly stress related.
- June 10th: Chemo infusion 3: I weighed 152. That makes sense. I was wondering when all that mac and cheese, pasta, and casseroles would catch back up to me.
- June 24th: Chemo infusion 4: I weighed 155.
Infusion was good, labs looked good, although my heart rate was really low, but still okay. And Wednesday overall went well. No nausea and just layed low and enjoyed a delicious meal from the meal train!
Thursday June 11th:
Also a good day. I felt well enough that I decided to go to the gym. I did a jerk cycle and a clean cycle and planned to do some snatches and front squats but I got pretty wiped out (just fatigue no nasuea) from the first two movements so I went home.
Friday June 12th:
The symptoms started to kick in and I had some nausea that night but it wasn't too bad and I took my antinausea meds which helped.
Saturday June 13th:
My day consisted of about 6 hours of putting a 1000 piece puzzle together which I have decided is a great activity for cancer patients! And then 5 hours of playing Zelda on N64, another great activity! I was entertained and distracted for most of the day and it went by faster than other days.
That's the hard thing with chemo, when you're used to being someone that is go-go-go and then stuck at home on the couch, the days creep by so very slow! I have never wished for days to go by faster any other time in my life.
Sunday June 14th-Tuesday the 16th:
The days progressed slowly but weren't too bad. I continued to work on my puzzle, play video games (total nerd alert), and just kept swimming. Tony had a little victory. Most of you know that I am the MarioKart (on N64) queen. I have rarely met anyone that can beat me. And if you want to challenge me, bring it on. I'm Yoshi and you are in for an ass-whooping! But our dear friends, Jen and Chris let us borrow their Wii for a few weeks and Tony got to destroy me at MarioKart on the Wii. I think that made his week. But that's okay.... I shall be out of this chemo fog and will learn that game and get him back. :)
Anyways, these days were better than cycle two. There were no depression or dark days. But Monday I was definitely really out of it. It was amazing how my brain was functioning. It does not work. I planned to work that day and when I realized that I could not think I then called on my amazing team to help me with any super important time sensitive things. And then I worked on my puzzle. And even doing a simple puzzle was difficult. But thankfully this only lasted on Monday. Besides the brain my muscles were very achy. Overall though it was better than the other cycles.
Wednesday the 17th:
Yoga day! Now I associate Wednesdays with either chemo or yoga. I like the yoga Wednesdays more. It's my first time getting back in the gym, moving my body, and mentally telling myself you have now entered your recover week. So I really look forward to those nights. Thanks Sopris crossfit for this yoga!
Thursday the 18th:
Oops. I messed up. I got competitive and it backfired. I went to open gym with Tony and Becca and did some weights; jerks, snatches, and back squats. That went well. Tiring but well. Then I decided to do:
3 Rounds
20 GHD Situps
10 Handstand Pushups
2 Rope Climbs
1 Legless rope climb
Bec decided to join me because those were good movements for her to work on. And because she was working on form and going a little slower on the HSPU it gave me a chance to catch up each round, which then made me go into competitive Kelli mode. Bad idea. Eventually I slowed down and she speed up but I knew I had probably pushed it a little hard for my first day back and it was 95 degrees out (our gym doesn't have A/C).
Then we had plans to go to the rodeo. So we went home, showered, ate and headed out. I was sitting in the sun for about 5 minutes when I decided to head to the shade. After sitting in the shade for 15 minutes I decided I needed to go home stat and get out of the sun. Tony took me home and that is when the picture at the very top was taken. For an hour we rotated frozen ice packs on my body to try to cool me down. My skin was on fire and my body was burning inside. But thankfully the season finale of Game of Thrones distracted me some. Which, WTF? If you watched that, what is up with that ending??! Sad.
So anyways, lesson learned, take it easy, especially in the hot hot heat.
Friday June 19th:
Friday was a good day and we finally got to go see Jurassic World. I LOVE action movies! And since Thanksgiving when it first premiered Tony, Gina, Bec and I have been so excited and it did not disappoint! So good. :)
Saturday the 20th:
We went to Maroon Bells and it was gorgeous! I definitely had a panic moment. During the summer you have to take a bus from Aspen Highlands ski resort to the Bells. It is easy to do and only costs $6 per person. We had never taken the bus so when we get on to the fully packed vehicle and the driver says we have a 25 minute drive I got a little freaked out. I like to always have an escape route with anything that I do. That way if all of a sudden I get sick and need to go home I can. Well I knew if I stayed on that bus I was looking at a minimum of 50 minutes of no chance of leaving. So I quietly sat there analyzing if I should do this, then I started to think about how I am not feeling that great (all mental I am sure), and if I should get off the bus and not go. But I kept my cool, held tight and within 10 minutes my brief nausea had passed. And it was a beautiful day up there and felt great to get into slightly cooler temperatures!
Sunday June 21:
Bec and Gina left. And I just want to say, wow, they were so helpful. I was really nervous to have someone other than my mom and Tony come and take care of me and help out. When I am sick I don't like to be around people. But they were so awesome. They cleaned the house, multiple times, ran errands, got me drinks/food/etc. whenever I needed it, and they cooked like crazy! They made me delicious homemade pot pies, lots of baked goods (crap...wonder what I will weigh next time ;)), and we also had their homemade raviolis, which is a Gardella specialty and was amazing as always! So Becca and Gina, thank you so much for all of your help while you were here! We really appreciate it!
After they headed out of town I took Tony on a date! We headed up to a hike that was a gorgeous scenic drive 90 minutes away, in the middle of nowhere. And it actually looked so much like the area around McCall, Idaho, which is close to where my cabin is located. We then hiked up to Lower Savage Lake and man, it was a trek. It was 2 miles out and 2 miles back, and 1160 feet of elevation gain. And it was at 11,000 feet. Needless to say, it was slow. When I hike 14ers, the elevation kicks my butt. I am a zombie on those hikes going up. So I didn't feel too bad to be so slow this time, but there was a lot of rests taken. We also had a creek crossing at one point where we took our shoes off to get through. And then the last 300 yards was hiking through snow, very carefully hiking through snow. There were a few times we broke through the snow. Probably not the safest thing to be doing but I knew we were close and I really wanted to get there!
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I had packed up some kid's paint, paint brushes and paper and thought it would be a fun date for Tony and I to paint the lake when we got there. We are not painters and did not have expectations of painting some masterpiece, but that would be the fun in it. But after hanging out for a bit we decided that perhaps we should get me back to the car and not push it too much. Tony at one point in the hike said, "This is gorgeous out here, but man this is one of the more remote hikes we have done before". Remember how I like those escape routes? Well I was feeling a little nervous after he said that. Tony did take a short nap and I walked around taking photos of flowers. I love photography and I miss it. And my new camera phone is pretty awesome so I had a great time. It felt good to be doing something creative. Overall it felt good to be hiking and adventuring again too.
And we'll save the painting for another scenic drive.
Monday June 22nd:
Woohoo!!!!
I had an appointment with my doctor and he felt for the lump in my breast and could not find it! At all!! So he said, "that's great news and means the chemo has killed or is killing this cancer." So chemo, I hate you, but thank you! We also talked about surgery and decided bilateral mastectomy is the best option for me so that will happen probably the first week in October. I had pretty much made my mind up about it so I was prepared. He said that he would be open to the idea of me just getting screened every 6 months, but because of the chances being so high of developing it in the other breast he said if it was him he would do the full surgery. This brings my chances of getting breast cancer again to 1-2%. Which of course I couldn't help but be wary of due to the fact that there was a .01% chance my biopsy would be positive for cancer. Odds and percentages aren't that comforting to me these days. But I know that's really good and makes me happy. I will meet with the surgeon and plastic surgeon in Denver sometime in August. We are going with them because they specialize in young women with breast cancer and that's all they do.
We also discussed expectations for Taxol treatment which I begin July 8th and will do weekly for 12 weeks. I feel optimistic about those treatments and it sounds like most likely I'll be feeling and doing really good, enough to go camping, which is what I love to do in the summer! Crossfit will be better but still hard and may tend to wipe me out, but I can do whatever I feel up too.
Monday June 22nd:
Speaking of Crossfit. Monday I went to 5:30 class and took it fairly easy. It was a Tabata workout, which is great for me right now, but it was also 90 degrees out. I could tell that I am a lot more fatigued this cycle. Two weeks ago I was working out hard, feeling pretty good and not getting wiped out. Not so this cycle.
Tuesday June 23rd:
On Tuesday I went to 9 AM to try to beat the heat. It was a big workout, what was prescriped was the workout:
"Daniel"
50 Pullups
400 Meter Run
15 Thrusters (95/65)
800 Meter Run
15 Thrusters (95/65)
400 Meter Run
50 Pullups
So I knew I needed to modify it and was contemplating how to modify it. Man it sucks not being able to do RX, mostly because I have to figure out how to modify everything, which a lot of times happens in the middle of a workout. So prior to doing the WOD we did some running drills. Running sucks. Like really sucks! It has always been one of my least favorite movements at crossfit but when you are on chemo, it is really hard.
My modified Daniel was:
30 Pullups
400 Meter Run
15 Thrusters w/bar (35#)
200 Meter Run
15 Thrusters
200 Meter Run
30 Pullups
And here is how it went:
The 30 pullups were great! And all were butterfly! After the prewod running drills I told myself to only do 200 meter runs. But I felt so well after the pullups so I ran 400 meters. At the 200 mark I had an "oh shit" moment. I thought: "I am so far from the gym and so tired, I don't know if I can get back." (Yes, it was only 200 meters back, that's how tired I was). But I made it back and moved on to the thrusters. I broke them up in a set of 10 and 5. Amazing because on March 27th I did the open workout 15.5 and that called for
27-21-15-9 reps for time of:
Row (calories)
Thrusters (65# for women)
Row (calories)
Thrusters (65# for women)
I did all the thrusters unbroken during this workout. I mean, that was really really hard. But the fact that I couldn't do 15 thrusters with the bar unbroken was crazy, what is chemo doing to me? Well, it's doing what it needs to, killing the cancer and that's all that matters.
On the 200 meter runs I had to walk a little but I did them. Thrusters went the same. And then the pullups felt good again, although I could tell my tender baby hands were going to rip so I had to stop doing butterflies.
But at least I felt somewhat the same after my Danielesk workout as 15.5! Exhausted! I was more wiped out the rest of the day from chemo thrusters than from 15.5 though.
Thankfully I felt recovered enough by the time my mom got in town that afternoon to do one lap at the dog park. And go see the movie Spy at the theater.
Wednesday the 24th:
Infusion day 4. The final A/C treatment. THANK GOD. You know, chemo is a funny thing, especially to someone with stage 1 cancer. I've never experienced the bad symptoms of what cancer can do to you. I am very lucky because that means I caught it early. And I am glad that I didn't have to actually feel sick from the cancer itself, I mean that would really be a slap to the face about your mortality. But because I never felt that it's hard to be so happy with chemo. Consciously when I think about it, I know chemo is good and it's killing the bad stuff. But that bad stuff has never done anything to me yet and the chemo has sure done a lot of bad stuff to me. So anyways, it's a little hard to deal with the chemo. And even though it was my final A/C treatment I was dreading getting it.
So I told myself to remember this great quote:
To change my perspective I told myself, "I am going to the hospital to save my life." I tried to not think about the bad side effects of chemo and only on the fact it was doing exactly what it was supposed to, killing that chemo! And that is what I am going to try to focus on and remember for the next week of my zombie like state. Wish me luck!
Some random thoughts:
We had some great news today. My sister received her results from her genetic testing and she is negative! I am so excited and happy for her. That is such good news! It took 5 weeks to get those results and we've all tried to be optimistic and not worried but you can't help but think about what she'll need to do if she was positive. We are all thrilled we won't have to make any of those decisions!
Watching the TV series, Parenthood last night there was an emotional scene at the end where one of the husbands very seriously tells his wife he will never cheat on her. He says, "we have been through so much and we will go through so much more in the years ahead, both good and bad, but I want you to know I will never cheat on you." It was in this moment that I couldn't help but realize all the choices you can make as a person, not just things like adultery. And all the things you don't get to choose but are forced to go through (like cancer). So as someone who has to go through something that was not a choice, please make the right choices in your life. You will have enough heartache, enough drama, enough pain, why add anymore to it? I know it's not that simple, but if by writing this it makes anyone in the world think twice before they make a bad choice then that makes me happy. And you should thank Parenthood. And you should watch Parenthood. :)
Some very helpful things that I have learned to love during chemo to keep in mind when you have a loved one going through fighting cancer:
- ACT Total Care Dry Mouth Mouthwash
- ACT Dry Mouth Lozenges
- Gargle 1/8 teaspoon salt, 1/4 teaspoon baking soda, 1 cup water. Every hour for your entire A/C treatment
- Sugarfree Jolly Ranchers
- Sonic Ice
- Carbs- baked goods, pastas, casseroles. (At least for me).
- Then healthy foods on recovery week, especially fruit- AMAZING!
- Sympathy/get well cards and care packages. These truly brighten your day so much. Even a simple card makes you feel so good.
- Buff headwear wraps
- Books, magazines, TV shows, video games and puzzles!
- As I have said before, meal train! So amazing and helpful!!
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