Best Voicemail Ever:
On Wednesday night I missed a call from my surgeon. I was super bummed to miss the call, but it's kind of cool to have this voicemail from her. She called to tell me that they got the pathology report back from my lymph-nodes and ALL IS CLEAR!! The excitement, sincerity and enthusiasm she has in this voicemail is so awesome. She is genuinely ecstatic for me and said the tumor was completed melted away- go Chemo!- and my lymph-nodes were clear. Woohoo!! No more lymph-node removal and no radiation! When Tony, my mom and I listened to the voicemail we all couldn't help but cry. We really did kick cancer's ass!
So far my "temporary" recovery is going good. I call it a temporary recovery because I go back to surgery on November 5th for my final implants and after that surgery I will truly be on the final road to recovery.
In the past 8 days I have done a lot of lounging around! Wednesday, Thursday and Friday I watched a lot of TV. Thanks Netflix for the ability to binge watch TV shows. It was interesting, during chemo I would feel restless and mentally overwhelmed with so many lazy days. But after surgery, it was so nice. It felt wonderful to know I had absolutely no obligations and that I shouldn't be doing anything. Tony made it very clear to me, no crossfit at all for at least a week. He knows me well. I felt like I could probably do some easy, controlled, lower body workout within a few days but I listened to him and did basically nothing those first few days. The only exercise I got was my upper body physical therapy exercises and a few small walks.
Working After Surgery:
Thank you work for giving me the ability to completely check out. I love my job. I love my clients and I don't dread going to work. And a lot of times I have a hard time letting go of work when I am on vacation. It took some work on my part but I have set really good boundaries about not working on nights or weekends. But for some reason when I go on vacation I have a hard time not checking in and continuing to help out a little bit. After my last vacation I learned that was not healthy for anyone. It was easier for my work and our clients if I just completely passed the baton, that is why we are a team. And I know it's healthier and better for myself and my life to do this as well. So I vowed to take the entire first week after surgery off work and I am so glad I did! My team didn't call me once, not even a text!
This second week I plan to work on projects and other tasks that do not have deadlines. It's still hard for me to let my team handle my main job, our transactions, but again, I know this week will be helpful for our team by working on a lot of things that get pushed to the back-burner. And I know that even though I may feel ready to jump back into a 40 hour work week with deadlines, my body might appreciate these project type activities instead.
If you are trying to plan for your surgery and work expectations/schedule then in short I would say: take the entire first week off. You may feel you can work, but if you have the ability to take the time off, do, your body will heal faster and better. For the second week, I feel I could go back to work pretty much full time, or close to it. But I work from home, in my sweat pants and I don't have to set an alarm, so I can listen to my body and give it the proper amount of rest. I also have no kids and really no other responsibilities in my life, so when I am done working for the day, I can be done and lounge for hours if I needed too. Keep in mind what you will need to do outside of work (if anything). And if you have to go into an office, I would recommend to start your hours slow for that second week. Your body is still recovering.
Lastly, this is one I struggle with, make sure you allow time to do your exercises prescribed from the hospital or PT.
Exercising:
Prior to surgery I was told by the plastic surgeon I wouldn't be allowed to lift more than 5-10 pounds for 4-6 weeks. And although she didn't tell me this I also heard from people I wouldn't be allowed to put my arms over my head. I could do light hiking and light stretching but nothing that would raise my blood pressure too much. Since I didn't have the implants this surgery though I am able to do whatever my surgeon said, and she told me before I left the hospital that I can do whatever my body felt up too, but not to lift more than 5-10 pounds and not really any upper body exercises/working out. She encouraged me to be using my arms and lifting them above my head but no heavy lifting and I am pretty sure things like pullups and pushups are not okay.
Before surgery I wrote down all the workouts that another fellow crossfitter did after her surgery. Although I think she went a little overboard and back to it a little to quickly, I appreciated her detail in documenting her workouts, sharing them online, and also for doing them. It made me feel better knowing someone else got back to working out so quickly.
I also called upon my husband. I had a good heart to heart with him and said I really need you to be 3 people for me; my husband, my physical therapist, and my crossfit buddy. The doctors don't know crossfit and are probably going to shun any workouts I ask them I can do. So I need Tony to be the obsessive crossfitter that we are together. But I also need him to be a medical professional and help me find the balance of being safe and healthy, but still doing what we know I can (even if a doctor or studies say differently). We all know crossfitters push their limits. It's what we do. And I have seen so many instances where doctors say you can't or shouldn't do this and they do it and it's a good thing. I also have seen where athletes push it and hurt themselves, so I am trying to find a healthy balance with the help of Tony. And I of course just needed him to be my husband on the days that I needed a shoulder to cry on with my frustrations.
So as I mentioned, it was just light walking and my upper body exercises those first few days. As much as I love to workout and hike and be active, I hate doing my exercises. They're so boring. But I really try to do them 2-3 times a day, although most evenings I have to call on Tony to force me to do them. Perks of living with a PT! These exercises consist mostly of just moving my arms above my head in different ways. My right side feels like it's stapled shut and all tight. But slowly each day I get a little further and further. And Tony reminded me that right now my goal is not necessarily to get back to 100% range of motion since I'll be going into surgery again, but just do as much as I can to offset this surgery and these two weeks. Thankfully the exercises don't hurt, I just hit a point where my arm can't go much further and I don't push it right now. My arms are pretty high though! And I am just trying to use my arms as close to normal as possible. My surgeon and Tony both tell me to not baby it, use them and exercise them.
Saturday I felt ready for a hike, so we drove to Black Canyon of The Gunnison National Park. I had been wanting to go there (it's about 2 hours from us) and I thought it would be great to do that day. It was really pretty but unfortunately it was a lot more driving and a lot less hiking. I probably walked less than a mile that day. Oops.
Sunday I made up for it and we went and hiked Mushroom Rock or Red Hill. This is a local trail about 5 minutes from my house that I go to 1-2 times a week. It's how I get Lubby out for exercise. There are a few different trails and loops but most of the time we do the "short loop" which is up Blue Ribbon and down Three Gulch. It takes us around 45-60 minutes to complete so it's fairly short, about 2 miles and about 600 feet of elevation gain. It still felt great to get outside and do this hike. It's interesting to hike right now. My legs feel normal, even antsy to run or work harder. But my upper body is very much on edge and I walk very rigid to minimize the jostling. And my lungs felt a little winded after basically a week of no movement.
And this week, especially after I get my drains out I plan to start working out again. Obviously no upper body stuff for a while though.
Bowel Movements:
Ah, the wonderful world of bowel movements. I had experienced some constipation back in July when I switched chemo drugs so I wanted to avoid that happening again. And I knew after surgery and being on pain meds you can have lots of issues. Thankfully Monday morning prior to the surgery I had a great BM. As soon as I was home from surgery I started taking Colace pills each day and using a Miralex powder as well. I also was eating a TON of fruit. But by Thursday when I still hadn't had a BM my entourage (Tony, my mom and myself) started to get nervous. We knew we needed to get me moving but it was so cold and rainy out. So that night when Tony got home form work he set his phone timer for 5 minutes and forced me to walk in circles around my house. I don't have a very big house so that was quite the funny 5 minutes. But like a good husband, he walked right along with me. Now that I am typing this I realize maybe it was more like him being a good PT and he was worried I would fall.
Either way, Friday was a successful day of a good bowel movement!! We did it! It's amazing how excited you can get. I felt like I was a toddler that took my first poop in the toilet. My entourage and I celebrated and as my system got more regular over the days we all relaxed a little.
Pain & the Meds:
Pain is relative. I still don't know how well I handle pain but I will say this, surgery and recovery has not been painful. It hasn't been sunshine and rainbows, and it has been uncomfortable most days but not that painful. The worst pain that I have had has been a few nights in the middle of the night my right side, near the incision area just aches pretty bad. That has been "painful" but again, not horrible.
I did take pain meds the first few days though, but most of the time it was because I was so worried that I needed to stay on top of the pain as everyone said. So many people told me to just take my pain medication every 4 hours like it allows, so most days I would do that, regardless of how I was feeling. Here is a recap of the meds I took:
Tuesday: 8:45 AM, 1:45 PM and 9:40 PM- 1 oxycodon pill. I was prescribed 1-2 pills but I only ever took 1.
Wednesday: 5:15 AM, 10 AM, 7:30 PM, 10:40 PM- 1 oxycodon pills.
Thursday: 11:25 AM, 6 PM - 2 tyelonol extra strength pills.
Friday: 1:30 AM, 8:30 AM, 2:30 PM - 2 tylenols. 10:15 PM - only 1 tylenol.
Saturday: 3:45 AM- 1 oxycodone. This was the first morning that I felt the more painful ache in my side. I lay awake for about 45 minutes before I decided to just take the oxycodone rather than dealing with it. Again, it wasn't horribly bad but I was worried this was one of those times that I needed to "stay ahead of the pain". 8:45 AM and 8:10 PM- 2 tylenols.
Sunday: 1 AM- 2 tylenol (woke up to a pretty achy side again), 9:45 PM- 2 tylenol.
So by Saturday and Sunday I really didn't need pain meds except for in the middle of the night. By taking the tylenol at 9:45 Sunday night I slept way better and didn't take in any the middle of the night or in the morning.
Overall, the pain is way less than I imagined it would be. I just hope the next surgery I feel the same during that recovery!
One interesting thing is the tingling and numbness though. A lot of my chest and armpit area is pretty numb. It just feels like it's asleep which doesn't bother me much until something touches it directly. The worst area is the right side of my body under the armpit. Tony says it could be nerve damage and not to worry, it will probably come back over time if it is nerve damage. It doesn't hurt and doesn't really bother me that much, just a little weird.
I don't like to touch my chest or sides though. Although they aren't in pain, they are still sensitive....and I am definitely babying the areas a little.
Drains & The PainBuster:
I am easily grossed out, for instance when I watch a movie and it shows a surgery or an open wound, I always have to look away because it's disgusting to me. It's fascinating what the human body can go through, amazing what surgery and doctors can do, but gross to look at. So I was a little nervous about the drains but like everything else, it's been fine.
For the first few days I had a shoelace tied around my body and I had the safety pins of the drains hanging on that. Then I discovered one of my Columbia fleeces have these "pockets" inside that the drains can comfortably sit in. So I've worn the same fleece for like 4 days straight.
Here's a picture of my beloved fleece, my compression bra they send you home in and I love (it's like a security blanket), and I'm holding the drains in my hands.
I empty the drains 2-3 times a day and it's actually cool to see the amount of fluid decrease. Here are my totals of each drain each day:
Wednesday: 136 ml, 104 ml
Thursday: 87 ml, 65 ml
Friday: 38 ml, 39 ml
Saturday: 29 ml, 22 ml
Sunday: 31 ml, 21 ml
Tomorrow (Tuesday 10/27/15) I go back to Denver for my post-op visit so I hope to get my drains out at that time. And I've been told I most likely will have the drains again after the next surgery. The worst part of the drains to me is all the tubes and bulbs that you have to deal with when moving around and/or when getting dressed to actually leave the house.
I was also surprised to have a pain buster device after surgery. This was a little black pouch that inside had a plastic ball that held some type of pain medication. It pumped the meds through a tiny tiny wire that was inserted into each of my sides and it gave a topographical numbing to the area. I appreciated having this but it was rather annoying to carry around the drains and this pain buster thing. My post surgery instructions said I could remove it a few days after surgery as the medication would be out at that point. Tony had experience in removing them so he did it on Thursday and it didn't hurt at all, I didn't even feel it.
Let the Bodies Hit the Floor- Part 2
On Wednesday morning we thought it would be a wise decision to attempt my first shower. I was really nervous about showering because I didn't know how the water hitting my chest or incision areas would feel. I was not a fan of anything "poking" my chest and I just imagined the shower hitting it hard and hurting....or messing with the skin. But I wanted to stay clean and healthy so we went for it that morning. If you have read all my blogs you might recall last April's post titled "Let the Bodies Hit the Floor"? Well on Wednesday we experienced part 2.
Tony and I had been up for a little while but just chilling in bed. I'm someone that likes to eat breakfast as soon as I wake up, so I think issue one was I had no food in my stomach. We got me undressed in our cold bedroom while the shower was creating a sauna atmosphere in the guest bathroom (our master bath is only a shower stall and sucks). So issue two I think was going from the cold bedroom to the steamy bathroom. Tony thinks my vessels may have dilated or something because instantly after walking into the bathroom I felt a little nauseous. I told myself I was fine and it was just because I was nervous and I still didn't like to look at my mangled chest. Not because I was self-conscious of it but because I don't like to look at gross things on the body...and it's pretty gross at times.
Anyways, I continued forward, thinking I was just a little nauseous but not actually going to puke. We got me in the shower and the water was hitting my legs as Tony soaped up my backside. I was feeling worse and said I needed to sit down so we sat me on the side of the tub. After a second I stood back up to get the soap off my back and as soon as that was done I said I needed to really sit down because I felt light headed. Tony, the experienced PT quickly, but carefully, directed me to the toilet seat and within seconds of sitting down I passed out. My loving husband held my body while I apparently shook a little and foamed a bit at the mouth...hmmm...sexy. He just talked to me and tried to bring me back to reality. Once I was conscious he got me into bed and I instantly felt better when I was laying down.
I am hoping there is no act three in regards to bodies hitting the floor.
My Peoples:
I am so thankful for all the amazing people I have in my life. First off, to my husband Tony. Wow. He has been a rock through all of this but after surgery he's been beyond helpful. It's been nice that he is a PT because he has training that has actually been very helpful, like the feinting incident above. He also is not grossed out by the human body (unlike his wife and mother-in-law). We have attempted another shower and that was a success and he lovingly cleaned all the hard to reach areas for me. :) He has been a perfect mixture of husband, PT, and best friend. He knows when to push me, when to let me be, when to let me cry- which so far has only happened once, during our first exercises. I was really freaked out that I was already so tight and lost so much range of motion. He hugged me and said, "I do this for a living and I see this every day. You are doing amazing and I am not worried at all about your range of motion, we'll get it back just fine." I felt a lot better after his pep talk and couldn't help but laugh and say his job sucks. I am glad I am not a PT, but love that he enjoys it! I appreciate him more and more every day. And if cancer has any positive in my life, it's helping me truly understand the decision behind who your life partner is and being so glad I made the best one ever!
To my mom and dad. They have been through it all with me and have journeyed the 730 miles from Idaho to Colorado so many times this summer. My dad shows his love in many ways, but one of which is taking us out for a nice dinner, or bringing us "treats". He has provided multiple hotels, dinners and beers for us that I am beyond grateful. And I'm very thankful for all the times he's driven those miles! My mom is someone I always love to have fun with and she's been here most of the days that I am not a fun person. Yet she continues to come and not only offer her motherly love, but offer her services of keeping my life and house in order. She's constantly cleaning, cooking, running errands, keeping me company, and doing all the other odds and ends that need to happen that I'm unable to do right now.
My animals, Lubby and Conway. They continue to show their love in the best possible way. Snuggling (very carefully) with me. Poor Conway is not allowed to sleep with us right now, for fear he'll jump on my chest in the middle of the night. But during the day we make up for it. And Lubby of course is always by my side. She knows something is up and treads pretty carefully around me right now.
And the rest of my family and friends. The continued texts, calls, emails, care packages, gifts, flowers, and support has been so nice. Prior to surgery my mom had a handful of gifts from friends and family in Idaho and it was like Christmas! I felt so spoiled, so lucky and I will say it helps ease the pain and downside of dealing with cancer and surgery!
And to my amazing Colorado friends who spent the weekend socializing with me. Friday night we had a delicious meal and visit from Amanda. Saturday night Carly, Jon, Amanda, Tony, my mom and I had a great evening. From watching Carly and Amanda relive their childhood by playing Mario on regular Nintendo (I was crying from laughing so hard...then I took a tylenol because I was jostling my body so much it started to ache, totally worth it though!), to our yummy potluck style dinner and of course capping it off with a great game of Liverpool. And Sunday we got together with some more friends and carved pumpkins and caught up with Tobie and Lee, Jodi and Eric, Ryan, Matt and Amber, and Amanda. And Jodi even made my favorite- home made muddie buddies! Apparently my friends know me well because Katie Reid had sent me muddie buddies prior to surgery. :)
Good friends and family definitely ease the "pains" of surgery! If you are about to go through surgery, make sure during your recovery you are getting out and being social. It's obviously fun but more importantly it is good for your mental health. If you know someone that just went through surgery, make sure they are getting out or stop by their house to say hi.
No comments:
Post a Comment